Well it is the end of the year. So much has happened. Well, I started this online journal/blog, what have you. Honestly, I don't know what I started it. Perhaps because I needed to vent on life, perhaps to find those idiosyncrasies that comes with raising a tweener alone. Well truly alone now.
On Twitter right now, a trending hashtag is #2011in4words. I think my tweet would be "What A F**king YEAR!" As I have written about before, Mini-me's mom passed away after a prolonged battle with multiple sclerosis. That was the defining moment of the year for my household. As a result we both meandered aimlessly for some time.Needless to say it has been rough, but mini-me and I have come out the other side stronger and have forged an even closer bond, if that is possible.
In a real sense, it was extremely cathartic. My schedule was set: work, eat, take mini me to visit his mom, repeat daily. That is gone. And while I am deeply saddened, it affords a new found freedom that is difficult to adjust to. But the New Year brings new hopes, new dreams and a fresh start, no?
Personally it has been an up and down year. I found out who my true friends were. I also learned that there are those who professed friendship but were anything but. It's funny, these same people think I hate them. Really don't have time to hate. Seriously, why give them that power over me? In a very real sense, I am completely indifferent to their ability breathe.
Conversely there are those whom I have met that uplifted me in my darkest times. My gratitude to them is without end. Thanks for allowing to rant, vent, and to just talk. They know who they are. All I can say, is you have a true friend, and I promise to be there when you are in need.
If I had to offer a mea culpa it would be this: I've always explained that I was a single parent with a twist. The twist being that I had promised mini me and his mom they would never be more than 90 miles apart; they would be together for the holidays and important dates; and lastly, she would have input on activities, etc. Some may say it was an onerous promise. Dating was nonexistent, or if it was, none fully understood my commitment to that promise. For that I am sincerely apologetic.
The holidays as a result have been rather subdued. We talked, we played video games - yes I won of course ( Old age and treachery always defeats youth and exuberance) . He got me some cook books and a couple CD's. He in turn was able to set his room up and decorate it as he sees fit. He did remarkably well in this after giving it much consideration.
For 2012 I plan on being the best father I can be. This does not mean that I will be a guard dog watching over mini-me's every move. I think that is counterproductive. It just means I will let him make the mistakes he needs to learn from, to prevent the mistakes he doesn't need to make, and to always be the supportive figure he can look up to and hopefully learn from my mistakes.
Side notes, I have some ideas bouncing around in my head. Some arrived via their own volition. Others were suggestions of friends. One is to get back to working on this historical monograph I have had on a side burner for a few years ( yes, I am a history geek, get over it!). Another is a novel of sorts. Just something which popped into my mind. As always though, Mini-me comes first.
As 2011 rapidly recedes in the rearview mirror, and 2012 approaches, I am fully cognizant of what lies before me. The path won't be easy, then again an easy life isn't lived. Who wants that? No I look forward, looking to the past for guidance.
Dinner tonight was a Thai dish I attempted for the first time. I sauteed chicken and garlic, added some bok choy, shitake mushrooms, bean sprouts, onions and some red peppers. Covered it with a vegetable stock I had integrated some creamy peanut butter - Yes! Peanut butter! - and green curry paste. Added in some chili peppers and served it over rice. Was quite tasty!
Music for the night is Band of Skulls " I know what I am" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7G3h17i6xEM
Friday, December 30, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Football, food, family, fun and crazy Christmas consumers. yes it's the holidays!
Well it's been a several weeks since I last posted to this journal, blog, whatever you wish to call it. Thanksgiving has come and gone, Black Friday, and its insanity has luckily come and gone as well. One of the traditions mini me and I have, and I am sure families throughout the nation have the same tradition, of saying what we are thankful for.
So here is what I give thanks for:
My father: for teaching me a man is only as good as the word he gives.
My family: for knowing some journeys need to be done alone
Mini-me's mom: for showing me that dignity and poise in the face of a terrible disease
My friends: for being supportive and understanding
Lastly, and most importantly
Mini me: because of what he is thankful for. As we sat to have dinner, he was thankful because he was able to get to know his mother. For those who don't know, his mother passed away recently after a prolonged battle with multiple sclerosis. It is a terrible disease and throughout it all, I made sure he and her had a relationship. For him to say what he said, made everything worthwhile.
The last few weeks since my last post haven't changed my mood though. I still cannot get into the holiday spirit. Given the last eight months, it is understandable. I am sure I will get in the mood, or at least fake it enough so that mini me is happy. I think one of the reasons is because it appears the holiday season had descended into little more than crass commercialization and consumerism. Witness the scene in CA where the lady pepper sprayed a crowd to get what by all accounts was a video game.
No the holidays aren't want they used to be anymore for me. It is about family, friends, fun and laughter. Watching football on Thanksgiving. Sharing stories and good food both Thanksgiving and throughout the holiday season. Which brings me to a point. As a child, I remember watching the annual football games that Dallas and Detroit hosted.
Not once did I have to sit through a Viagra/Cialis commercial. Why then now? It is a big let down when in the middle of a relaxing day, I have to explain to my son what bad - though some would say good - could be derived from a pharmaceutically induced 4-hours erection. Seriously, what the hell! The only saving grace was I was explaining to my son. If he were a she, I shudder to think the way that talk would have gone.
So the holidays then in this household are going to be a very low key affair. Not somber just low key. Who knows, perhaps we'll spend the day watching "It's A Wonderful Life" or " A Christmas Story" At least then I won't have to worry about programming that denounces a nano-second nipple shot but allows for 5 minutes of programming every hour based on sexual dysfunction, if only because the latter makes someone a dime.
So here is what I give thanks for:
My father: for teaching me a man is only as good as the word he gives.
My family: for knowing some journeys need to be done alone
Mini-me's mom: for showing me that dignity and poise in the face of a terrible disease
My friends: for being supportive and understanding
Lastly, and most importantly
Mini me: because of what he is thankful for. As we sat to have dinner, he was thankful because he was able to get to know his mother. For those who don't know, his mother passed away recently after a prolonged battle with multiple sclerosis. It is a terrible disease and throughout it all, I made sure he and her had a relationship. For him to say what he said, made everything worthwhile.
The last few weeks since my last post haven't changed my mood though. I still cannot get into the holiday spirit. Given the last eight months, it is understandable. I am sure I will get in the mood, or at least fake it enough so that mini me is happy. I think one of the reasons is because it appears the holiday season had descended into little more than crass commercialization and consumerism. Witness the scene in CA where the lady pepper sprayed a crowd to get what by all accounts was a video game.
No the holidays aren't want they used to be anymore for me. It is about family, friends, fun and laughter. Watching football on Thanksgiving. Sharing stories and good food both Thanksgiving and throughout the holiday season. Which brings me to a point. As a child, I remember watching the annual football games that Dallas and Detroit hosted.
Not once did I have to sit through a Viagra/Cialis commercial. Why then now? It is a big let down when in the middle of a relaxing day, I have to explain to my son what bad - though some would say good - could be derived from a pharmaceutically induced 4-hours erection. Seriously, what the hell! The only saving grace was I was explaining to my son. If he were a she, I shudder to think the way that talk would have gone.
So the holidays then in this household are going to be a very low key affair. Not somber just low key. Who knows, perhaps we'll spend the day watching "It's A Wonderful Life" or " A Christmas Story" At least then I won't have to worry about programming that denounces a nano-second nipple shot but allows for 5 minutes of programming every hour based on sexual dysfunction, if only because the latter makes someone a dime.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Routines
So it's been a while. Looking at what I have posted, about 2 weeks. Forgive my lapses. It has been interesting to say the least. Being sick recently really upsets the routines I have set up. Or rather the routines foisted upon me: sleep, work, dad obligations: repeat daily.
Actually the routines aren't that bad. Given the last decade or so, I had become comfortable in that rut. But it's that time of year when I was able to step out of that rut and created surprises around the holidays. I like to think I knew what the holidays were about: family, fun, laughter, that crazy drunk uncle, etc, but ever since mini me came along, it has changed. It's become about getting him that gift that screams "this is perfect." Therein lies the surprises I so loved.
Now the surprises I am talking about were all geared towards making sure mini me and his mom had the best of relationships given her condition. Actually used a line to describe these surprises: "His mom got him the cool stuff, I got him socks and underwear." It was really cool to see both their eyes light up Christmas morning. I had it arranged with the place she was at that the gifts would be there Christmas morning, so that I was absolved of any involvement in his eyes. To mini-me, his mom possessed some magical quality that she just knew what he wanted.
I don't have that anymore and to be frank, I don't know what to do. It was suggested that I have a package delivered from his mom, or talk to the hospice she was at and have one there and they would call him. But I don't know about that. The last decade has been rough, and as much as I want him to remember his mom, I think he needs closure. So I really don't know how to go about doing Christmas this year. Oh I am sure he'll get something cool. Probably a TV for his room so I can liberate my living room from the game consoles.
It just seems different though. I guess you can say empty. Should I chalk this up to "the firsts," but it is more than that. More like, I cannot get into the spirit so to speak. Normally this time of year I have already shopped for those surprises, or in one instance, I was able to arrange it to get her out of her hospice and see one of his school's holiday concerts - that was still the best gift of all. All he used to say when asked was "my mom is sick." That night though, my efforts paid off. Mini me took his mom around, with his school principal and gave her a grand tour of his school, showing her every classroom he had ever been in, introducing her to every teacher he had ever had. As high as that night was emotionally, this year is just flat lining.
I don't know though. Perhaps the holiday surprise will be a trip to some ski slopes. I think a change of scenery for this first holiday may be best. We'll see where the next month takes me.
On a side note, I was able to get out into the social scene. Don't know what to make of it yet. But had a great time hiking through the nation's capital. It was interesting to show some sights, a couple museums which are part of the Smithsonian complex, the Washington Monument, Arlington National Cemetery and the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers. Wish I could have shown more, but there is never enough time in the weekend to see all that DC has to offer.
Recipe of this post: I took a beef roast and pan seared it to just brown on all sides. Threw it in the crock pot with onions, black beans and some chili adobo for about 6 hrs. Then I pulled the roast apart and we had burritos with home made salsa and rice. A really good meal. I'll need to remember that next time I do the roast. Perhaps that would be good for leftovers. Then again with mini me going through growth spurts nonstop, what are leftovers.
Until next time, keep safe and keep smiling
Actually the routines aren't that bad. Given the last decade or so, I had become comfortable in that rut. But it's that time of year when I was able to step out of that rut and created surprises around the holidays. I like to think I knew what the holidays were about: family, fun, laughter, that crazy drunk uncle, etc, but ever since mini me came along, it has changed. It's become about getting him that gift that screams "this is perfect." Therein lies the surprises I so loved.
Now the surprises I am talking about were all geared towards making sure mini me and his mom had the best of relationships given her condition. Actually used a line to describe these surprises: "His mom got him the cool stuff, I got him socks and underwear." It was really cool to see both their eyes light up Christmas morning. I had it arranged with the place she was at that the gifts would be there Christmas morning, so that I was absolved of any involvement in his eyes. To mini-me, his mom possessed some magical quality that she just knew what he wanted.
I don't have that anymore and to be frank, I don't know what to do. It was suggested that I have a package delivered from his mom, or talk to the hospice she was at and have one there and they would call him. But I don't know about that. The last decade has been rough, and as much as I want him to remember his mom, I think he needs closure. So I really don't know how to go about doing Christmas this year. Oh I am sure he'll get something cool. Probably a TV for his room so I can liberate my living room from the game consoles.
It just seems different though. I guess you can say empty. Should I chalk this up to "the firsts," but it is more than that. More like, I cannot get into the spirit so to speak. Normally this time of year I have already shopped for those surprises, or in one instance, I was able to arrange it to get her out of her hospice and see one of his school's holiday concerts - that was still the best gift of all. All he used to say when asked was "my mom is sick." That night though, my efforts paid off. Mini me took his mom around, with his school principal and gave her a grand tour of his school, showing her every classroom he had ever been in, introducing her to every teacher he had ever had. As high as that night was emotionally, this year is just flat lining.
I don't know though. Perhaps the holiday surprise will be a trip to some ski slopes. I think a change of scenery for this first holiday may be best. We'll see where the next month takes me.
On a side note, I was able to get out into the social scene. Don't know what to make of it yet. But had a great time hiking through the nation's capital. It was interesting to show some sights, a couple museums which are part of the Smithsonian complex, the Washington Monument, Arlington National Cemetery and the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers. Wish I could have shown more, but there is never enough time in the weekend to see all that DC has to offer.
Recipe of this post: I took a beef roast and pan seared it to just brown on all sides. Threw it in the crock pot with onions, black beans and some chili adobo for about 6 hrs. Then I pulled the roast apart and we had burritos with home made salsa and rice. A really good meal. I'll need to remember that next time I do the roast. Perhaps that would be good for leftovers. Then again with mini me going through growth spurts nonstop, what are leftovers.
Until next time, keep safe and keep smiling
Monday, October 31, 2011
Tying One on With a Mask
Happy Halloween All! Or Samhain if you'r Wiccan.
It's been a rough few days. Been sick as hell lately, but you know, the parent's work is never done. Makes me think of a bit I saw from John Leguizamo a few years ago. Basically the gist was " Being a single parent means, always stressed, always broke and always incapable of getting a date." The first two I can agree with, the last, really doesn't matter. But that gets me to the point of this blog, mini me dressed for Halloween as, what can only best be described as, a dapper demented clown. He was decked out in black pants, black shirt, black vest, black hat a black tie and of course, a demented clown mask.
Perhaps it is me reflecting back on my own life, but I spent the better part of an hour teaching mini-me how to tie the tie, and in that, I think it is a rite of passage. No more of those silly clip on's. Now some may say a tie is just an accessory, which is true. On the other hand though, the ability to accessorize, to just tie that knot opens up a new world. Gone are the graphic tee's which say " Here lies student. Died too young. Bored to death." Oh ok, that is the shirt I wore in 7th grade, but that was when ...well never mind, don't wish to date myself.
No the ability to tie that knot is a sure sign of mini-me's passage from childhood, if ever there was one. Honestly though, it doesn't upset me. It doesn't upset me because of the mask, or rather how he acted once the mask went on.
To be sure, Halloween is a time to pretend we, child and adult alike, are someone or something else, but at our core, we are who we are. Our actions dictate our character. I tend to think some wear masks so often, and change them so regularly that they know not who they are.
Walter Anderson said "The first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves." Being the dutiful father, I made sure that someone was with mini me and his friends as they went on their great candy hunt. The feedback I got was interesting. The parent told me that no one recognized mini-me, until his actions showed his character. Evidently he saw someone get separated from a group and helped that person catch up. When I asked about it, his response was, "it was the right thing to do"
Now I am sure mini-me doesn't really know who he is yet, but the simple fact he that it was the right thing to do shows me he is well on his way. Though he had that mask on, he was true to himself. A father couldn't ask for more.
It's been a rough few days. Been sick as hell lately, but you know, the parent's work is never done. Makes me think of a bit I saw from John Leguizamo a few years ago. Basically the gist was " Being a single parent means, always stressed, always broke and always incapable of getting a date." The first two I can agree with, the last, really doesn't matter. But that gets me to the point of this blog, mini me dressed for Halloween as, what can only best be described as, a dapper demented clown. He was decked out in black pants, black shirt, black vest, black hat a black tie and of course, a demented clown mask.
Perhaps it is me reflecting back on my own life, but I spent the better part of an hour teaching mini-me how to tie the tie, and in that, I think it is a rite of passage. No more of those silly clip on's. Now some may say a tie is just an accessory, which is true. On the other hand though, the ability to accessorize, to just tie that knot opens up a new world. Gone are the graphic tee's which say " Here lies student. Died too young. Bored to death." Oh ok, that is the shirt I wore in 7th grade, but that was when ...well never mind, don't wish to date myself.
No the ability to tie that knot is a sure sign of mini-me's passage from childhood, if ever there was one. Honestly though, it doesn't upset me. It doesn't upset me because of the mask, or rather how he acted once the mask went on.
To be sure, Halloween is a time to pretend we, child and adult alike, are someone or something else, but at our core, we are who we are. Our actions dictate our character. I tend to think some wear masks so often, and change them so regularly that they know not who they are.
Walter Anderson said "The first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves." Being the dutiful father, I made sure that someone was with mini me and his friends as they went on their great candy hunt. The feedback I got was interesting. The parent told me that no one recognized mini-me, until his actions showed his character. Evidently he saw someone get separated from a group and helped that person catch up. When I asked about it, his response was, "it was the right thing to do"
Now I am sure mini-me doesn't really know who he is yet, but the simple fact he that it was the right thing to do shows me he is well on his way. Though he had that mask on, he was true to himself. A father couldn't ask for more.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Q & A with Mini Me
So it has been an interesting last few days. Evidently mini me has a crush and has been asking how to get someone to like him. My response was a question: "Do you like yourself?" Now by this I mean are you comfortable with yourself. This of course lead to more questions and a longer conversation.
The gist of the conversation was he needs to be true to himself. We all know that it does no good to anyone to be false in how they present themselves. So that part is a given. What I told him, and I know we will have more discussions on this, is to always act with personal honor and integrity. Not only towards the one he is chasing, but towards himself.
That gets me back to my question I posed to him. You see I also warned him, those who have a need to be liked, be it to be popular, or to just to be in a relationship are not the kind he needs to chase after. For that matter, it's not the kind any of us need to chase after. It's my opinion that people who are like that are only seeking validation because they are too afraid of themselves. In the end, the only result they get is to make others as miserable in life as they themselves are with themselves. So when I asked mini me if he was comfortable with himself, the gist of the question was this: can he handle being alone?
There is nothing wrong with being able to be alone with yourself. I tend to agree with the quote from Aristotle, " Knowing one's self is the first step towards achieving wisdom." Yes I paraphrased, but the gist is still the same. I would hope he never says he needs a relationship, or that he doesn't handle being alone well. Phrases such as those are sure signs, at least in my eyes, that something is amiss.
They are phrases I have never said, for I like to think I know who and what I am. An example: when mini me goes away for his functions, coworkers tend to push me to go out and party. Well the partying stage for me is long gone. Don't get me wrong, I can go out and have fun. I just don't need to. It's not like going out will fundamentally alter who I am. It could fundamentally alter my situation, true. But to change who I am as a person, or to alter the definition of what my personhood means? I think not.
Having said all that, and knowing I am not ready for this, I have resigned myself to the fact that the next few years mini me and I will be revisiting these conversations probably often. Some may read this and think I am afraid that he is growing up and would be leaving. Part of me would like for him to stay a certain age. But at the same time, I know it's important that he has the tools necessary to go through life.
The gist of the conversation was he needs to be true to himself. We all know that it does no good to anyone to be false in how they present themselves. So that part is a given. What I told him, and I know we will have more discussions on this, is to always act with personal honor and integrity. Not only towards the one he is chasing, but towards himself.
That gets me back to my question I posed to him. You see I also warned him, those who have a need to be liked, be it to be popular, or to just to be in a relationship are not the kind he needs to chase after. For that matter, it's not the kind any of us need to chase after. It's my opinion that people who are like that are only seeking validation because they are too afraid of themselves. In the end, the only result they get is to make others as miserable in life as they themselves are with themselves. So when I asked mini me if he was comfortable with himself, the gist of the question was this: can he handle being alone?
There is nothing wrong with being able to be alone with yourself. I tend to agree with the quote from Aristotle, " Knowing one's self is the first step towards achieving wisdom." Yes I paraphrased, but the gist is still the same. I would hope he never says he needs a relationship, or that he doesn't handle being alone well. Phrases such as those are sure signs, at least in my eyes, that something is amiss.
They are phrases I have never said, for I like to think I know who and what I am. An example: when mini me goes away for his functions, coworkers tend to push me to go out and party. Well the partying stage for me is long gone. Don't get me wrong, I can go out and have fun. I just don't need to. It's not like going out will fundamentally alter who I am. It could fundamentally alter my situation, true. But to change who I am as a person, or to alter the definition of what my personhood means? I think not.
Having said all that, and knowing I am not ready for this, I have resigned myself to the fact that the next few years mini me and I will be revisiting these conversations probably often. Some may read this and think I am afraid that he is growing up and would be leaving. Part of me would like for him to stay a certain age. But at the same time, I know it's important that he has the tools necessary to go through life.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
So it's been awhile
Well it's been awhile since I last posted to this journal/blog whatever you want to call it. Life rears its ugly head at time. Well that is not entirely true. Life is what you make of it. The real reason is that I have just been enjoying the life of being a dad. Mini me and this age are refreshing. Nerve-racking at times, but refreshing nonetheless.
I think of the quote from Jim Morrison, " I think the highest and lowest points are the most important ones. Anything else is just "in between." Not really sure I agree with this at the moment though. To be sure, as I look back on my life so far, it's exactly those points that come to mind. The birth of mini me, was definitely a high point, the death of his mom, definitely a low point. But others are not so easily categorized.
For example: His first day of school. It's both good and bad. I readily admit, I had to take the day off from work for his first day. It just seemed different starting school as opposed to taking him to daycare. Perhaps the reason lies in the fact that daycare was just people watching him to make sure he didn't hurt himself or others, whereas school was the start of the process of him ultimately achieving independence after the long educational road.
While I will agree that the highs and the lows are the important parts, or at the very least, the most memorable. The last week or two has been the "in between." While we tend to remember those life markers, it's the "in between" that is the stuff of life. I'm glad mini me is here to make the "in between" meaningful.
I think of the quote from Jim Morrison, " I think the highest and lowest points are the most important ones. Anything else is just "in between." Not really sure I agree with this at the moment though. To be sure, as I look back on my life so far, it's exactly those points that come to mind. The birth of mini me, was definitely a high point, the death of his mom, definitely a low point. But others are not so easily categorized.
For example: His first day of school. It's both good and bad. I readily admit, I had to take the day off from work for his first day. It just seemed different starting school as opposed to taking him to daycare. Perhaps the reason lies in the fact that daycare was just people watching him to make sure he didn't hurt himself or others, whereas school was the start of the process of him ultimately achieving independence after the long educational road.
While I will agree that the highs and the lows are the important parts, or at the very least, the most memorable. The last week or two has been the "in between." While we tend to remember those life markers, it's the "in between" that is the stuff of life. I'm glad mini me is here to make the "in between" meaningful.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Personal Interactions
So the last few days have been quite interesting. Mini me got his first pimple - you'd swear the world was ending. And we had to go on yet another excursion to get him new clothes. I swear the boy is putting miracle gro on his Wheaties. The former has shown me how much he has grown as he is starting to take a keen interest in his appearance. Clothes shopping though taught me a lot.
I say it taught me a lot because of something that happened. You see, one of the places we stopped at was a Halloween Costume shop. While there a young girl, who appeared to be about mini-me's age, and her friend, walked up to him. Well one of them had like a godzilla doll and stated " I pick you." Mini me didn't even acknowledge their existence. To say I was confused is an understatement.
Well when they walked away, I asked mini me if he knew them. His response was " Oh, they are in two of my classes." Needless to say I was even more confused as mini me tends to be an extremely outgoing person,, and the one girl I distinctly remember him being friends with a couple years ago. Come to find out, mini me doesn't like these two. Says they are gossipy.
As we talked some more, and I laid out what seemed to be the GDP of Norway to get him new clothes, mini me laid out what he ignored them. Simply put he doesn't trust them. That really made me stop and think for I am the same way. Perhaps I am a tad bit more tactful as I actually wouldn't have ignored them. Perhaps I would have been extremely short and to the point ( not sweeet) but I at least would have acknowledged their existence.
Is this right that mini me has learned this from me? That I don't know. I do know that he is normally very outgoing, so his actions took me by surprise. I guess the silence speaks volumes. Perhaps the difference lies in our aspects. He is just a child, whereas I need to operate with a modicum of professionalism about 9 hours a day.
Looking back on it I can see where friendships I have had degenerated into little more than short talk necessary when I ran into a person whom I used to call friend. In a very few of those, do I actually lament the loss of that friendship. Those generally tend to be those friends I grew up with where, when I hit mini me's age, things just drifted apart.
I hope he learns to be more tactful, but I can understand his need to hold part of himself back. In the end, I think we all do.
I say it taught me a lot because of something that happened. You see, one of the places we stopped at was a Halloween Costume shop. While there a young girl, who appeared to be about mini-me's age, and her friend, walked up to him. Well one of them had like a godzilla doll and stated " I pick you." Mini me didn't even acknowledge their existence. To say I was confused is an understatement.
Well when they walked away, I asked mini me if he knew them. His response was " Oh, they are in two of my classes." Needless to say I was even more confused as mini me tends to be an extremely outgoing person,, and the one girl I distinctly remember him being friends with a couple years ago. Come to find out, mini me doesn't like these two. Says they are gossipy.
As we talked some more, and I laid out what seemed to be the GDP of Norway to get him new clothes, mini me laid out what he ignored them. Simply put he doesn't trust them. That really made me stop and think for I am the same way. Perhaps I am a tad bit more tactful as I actually wouldn't have ignored them. Perhaps I would have been extremely short and to the point ( not sweeet) but I at least would have acknowledged their existence.
Is this right that mini me has learned this from me? That I don't know. I do know that he is normally very outgoing, so his actions took me by surprise. I guess the silence speaks volumes. Perhaps the difference lies in our aspects. He is just a child, whereas I need to operate with a modicum of professionalism about 9 hours a day.
Looking back on it I can see where friendships I have had degenerated into little more than short talk necessary when I ran into a person whom I used to call friend. In a very few of those, do I actually lament the loss of that friendship. Those generally tend to be those friends I grew up with where, when I hit mini me's age, things just drifted apart.
I hope he learns to be more tactful, but I can understand his need to hold part of himself back. In the end, I think we all do.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Thinking and Apologizing
Well it's 9pm and mini me is safely in bed, dreaming, or rather having nightmares given his age, of having to return to school after a day off. This is that time of night I refer to as my "me-time." It's that time for me to reflect not only on the day but recent events.
Perhaps the most notable event as of late was mini-me's first birthday without his mother. It was difficult, I won't lie but at the same time, his friends came over and he was laughing and having fun. What more could a dad ask for?
I have a new addiction of sorts. Since I have started writing this, I have started to read other blogs. Some to get ideas, some to get much needed laughs, and yet others just because they seem of interest. I won't mention the ones I have read by name but I can narrow them down to 3 categories: humorous, informative, and self absorbed. Now personally I don't have a problem with the first two, the latter though I can do without.
The problem I have with the self absorbed blogs stem not from the fact they are self absorbed, but rather they tend to be elitist in nature. I don't need to read someone's extended discussion on what constitutes art. Nor do I need to read the random use of the $64,000 words simply because they can use them. Here's a litttle hint, seems a lot of bloggers are educated and can use those words as well, we just don't need to self justify our intellectual capacity. Additionally, do I really need to know you are trying a new work out regime?
No, I don't need these blogs. I tend to think they are screaming " Look at me, I am educated, I am important." Give me the ones which talk of men's style, or parenting, or beer. Yes I enjoy a good beer, just because I am a parent doesn't mean life has ended.
In a very real sense, this blog may be that same scream of attempts at self promotion. My only response is, not really. I could care less what others think of me. I know who I am, and what I am, so the need for self -promotion isn't necessary. I don't run from that, nor do I deny it.
You'll find that one of my dearest motto's is to thine own self to be true. So if this at any times seems self absorbed and and act of desperate recognition, then I apologize. It was never my intent.
Tonight's menu was stuffed pork chops, some over roasted sweet potatoes, and a salad.
Perhaps the most notable event as of late was mini-me's first birthday without his mother. It was difficult, I won't lie but at the same time, his friends came over and he was laughing and having fun. What more could a dad ask for?
I have a new addiction of sorts. Since I have started writing this, I have started to read other blogs. Some to get ideas, some to get much needed laughs, and yet others just because they seem of interest. I won't mention the ones I have read by name but I can narrow them down to 3 categories: humorous, informative, and self absorbed. Now personally I don't have a problem with the first two, the latter though I can do without.
The problem I have with the self absorbed blogs stem not from the fact they are self absorbed, but rather they tend to be elitist in nature. I don't need to read someone's extended discussion on what constitutes art. Nor do I need to read the random use of the $64,000 words simply because they can use them. Here's a litttle hint, seems a lot of bloggers are educated and can use those words as well, we just don't need to self justify our intellectual capacity. Additionally, do I really need to know you are trying a new work out regime?
No, I don't need these blogs. I tend to think they are screaming " Look at me, I am educated, I am important." Give me the ones which talk of men's style, or parenting, or beer. Yes I enjoy a good beer, just because I am a parent doesn't mean life has ended.
In a very real sense, this blog may be that same scream of attempts at self promotion. My only response is, not really. I could care less what others think of me. I know who I am, and what I am, so the need for self -promotion isn't necessary. I don't run from that, nor do I deny it.
You'll find that one of my dearest motto's is to thine own self to be true. So if this at any times seems self absorbed and and act of desperate recognition, then I apologize. It was never my intent.
Tonight's menu was stuffed pork chops, some over roasted sweet potatoes, and a salad.
Monday, September 26, 2011
An Open Letter to Mini Me on the Eve of His Birthday
Well Mini me, here it is, the eve of your birthday. This is a letter I have known for a while was coming. So I know exactly what I desire to say.
It's your first birthday without your mother. I kept my promise to you both. You never knew of the promise as you were still in your crib when I made it late one night. I promised I would do everything in my power to make sure you and your mother had a relationship. That promise has lasted for more than a decade, and looking back, I have no regrets.
I won't sit here and say it wasn't difficult at times. It was, but you know, more times than naught, the right things to do always tend to be the hardest. Never take the path of least resistance, Mini me, no personal growth lies down that path. Nothing but heartache and regrets will be your boon down such a path.
No Mini me, I hold no regrets now. I anchored myself in that promise, knowing full well before hand what lay ahead. To say you handled it with aplomb and dignity which far outweighed mine is an understatement of monstrous proportions. In a real sense, I need to thank you, you have been the steadying influence, and for that I can never repay you.
You have been there through the good and bad times. When I have stepped out to try and forge something and ended in failure, you were there to let me know everything would be ok. When you broke your bone, and I was worried sick, you were there to let me know bones heal. When I started to take life too serious, your prism of innocence was there to remind of the beauty in the everyday: the snowball fights followed by hot chocolate, the awe of standing 20 feet from 2 deer as we all had eyes as big as saucers. You've taught me much mini me, but most importantly, you have resurrected me.
You see mini me, prior to your birth, I was going through the motions of life. I was unfeeling to an extent. There was no pleasure in life, it was just routine of life: work, eat, sleep, play. You've changed that mini me. Every day is a new day now and for that I thank you.
We are entering a new stage now mini me. I no longer have that anchor of the promise. You have entered adolescence, and I cannot help but be proud of the young man you are becoming: thoughtful, caring, empathetic, wise beyond your years. I cannot promise you these future years will be easy, for I won't make false pretenses- there is enough of that in the world today. We'll have our disagreements. You'll think I am being overbearing at times, or that I just don't understand. Rest assured though, I too was once your age. Just know I always have your best intentions at heart. We'll weather this, as we have the last decade or so.
I do promise though, that I will always be beside you. I won't hold your hand through this, and I won't carry you, but together, we'll make it through.
Always my best Mini me
And thank you for everything
Dad
It's your first birthday without your mother. I kept my promise to you both. You never knew of the promise as you were still in your crib when I made it late one night. I promised I would do everything in my power to make sure you and your mother had a relationship. That promise has lasted for more than a decade, and looking back, I have no regrets.
I won't sit here and say it wasn't difficult at times. It was, but you know, more times than naught, the right things to do always tend to be the hardest. Never take the path of least resistance, Mini me, no personal growth lies down that path. Nothing but heartache and regrets will be your boon down such a path.
No Mini me, I hold no regrets now. I anchored myself in that promise, knowing full well before hand what lay ahead. To say you handled it with aplomb and dignity which far outweighed mine is an understatement of monstrous proportions. In a real sense, I need to thank you, you have been the steadying influence, and for that I can never repay you.
You have been there through the good and bad times. When I have stepped out to try and forge something and ended in failure, you were there to let me know everything would be ok. When you broke your bone, and I was worried sick, you were there to let me know bones heal. When I started to take life too serious, your prism of innocence was there to remind of the beauty in the everyday: the snowball fights followed by hot chocolate, the awe of standing 20 feet from 2 deer as we all had eyes as big as saucers. You've taught me much mini me, but most importantly, you have resurrected me.
You see mini me, prior to your birth, I was going through the motions of life. I was unfeeling to an extent. There was no pleasure in life, it was just routine of life: work, eat, sleep, play. You've changed that mini me. Every day is a new day now and for that I thank you.
We are entering a new stage now mini me. I no longer have that anchor of the promise. You have entered adolescence, and I cannot help but be proud of the young man you are becoming: thoughtful, caring, empathetic, wise beyond your years. I cannot promise you these future years will be easy, for I won't make false pretenses- there is enough of that in the world today. We'll have our disagreements. You'll think I am being overbearing at times, or that I just don't understand. Rest assured though, I too was once your age. Just know I always have your best intentions at heart. We'll weather this, as we have the last decade or so.
I do promise though, that I will always be beside you. I won't hold your hand through this, and I won't carry you, but together, we'll make it through.
Always my best Mini me
And thank you for everything
Dad
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Dancing with the Devil
So mini me had his first school dance of the year last night. I being the dutiful father provided the admittance fees, and some money for snacks, loaded him up, took him there and then left. I came home and did what every parent did, worried! It's in the parenting handbook, page1, right after providing unconditional love is to always worry and stress out. Trust me on this!
Well anyway after a couple hours, curiosity got the better of me and I headed down to the school. It was interesting to see mini me take those tentative steps into adolescence. No I didn't interfere, as I have said before, it is his life not mine, so I just observed from afar.
Mini me was dancing in the center of the floor, as only Jr. High Schoolers can. Think more like a pack mentality rather than individual couples. Yet you can start to see those first steps, cautious at first, but they were there as the boys and the girls danced around one another, yet never actually with one person.
Any how, as I was talking to a parent who was chaperoning, I notice that mini me kept having two females tying to dance strictly in front of him. I say in front because as noted earlier they aren't really dancing with one another. Now when one was in front of him, you could tell he was enjoying himself, smiling, laughing, yes even blushing. However when the other one took her place, you could tell he just wasn't as into it.
Now before you start assuming, some body type, hair, etc. So it wasn't a shallow thing. I have tried to instill into mini me that looks are nothing really important, it's the content of the character and personality which matters. Well given how he changed depending on who was in front of him, I made a mental note to poke around the edges to see what was going on.
Later in the evening after I "officially" arrived to pick him up, as we were driving home, I did the standard parent line of questioning: "Did you have fun?" "Meet any new people?" "Did you dance or play in the gym?" I like to think that I have fostered an open relationship with mini me. He can talk to me about any and every thing, and believe me he has!
Well he answered the questions which of course prompted new question, specifically the one I was waiting for, " Did you dance with any girls?" He told me a couple. I noted I saw him dancing with such and such as well as so and so. His comment took me back and made me think for several reasons. The remark was " Such and such just wants to have a boyfriend, and I want none of that."
Now my first reaction was wow! Smart kid but it got me thinking, what does it say of our society that a tweener is desperate to be in a relationship? Kids really are growing up fast these days. Mini me's answer shows how he is growing up and learning.
We talked more, about little things, important things and the ilk. As we talked I got more insight into how he thinks. I am starting to believe he is wise beyond his years. You see his reasoning can be boiled down to " any one who is desperate enough for a relationship, isn't comfortable with themselves."
I think what I am attempting to teach him is rubbing off: Be true to who and what you are. What I need to teach him though is not everyone is perfect. Not he, not I, not the one he was really enjoying dancing near. The secret, I think, is to learn to accept the imperfections, to realize that the imperfections make us who we are. To run away because of another's imperfections I tend to opine is because we cannot accept our own.
In a real sense, our imperfections are labeled as imperfections, when in fact they make us perfectly us. They are who we are.
Any how, supper was a slow cooked roast in the crock pot. Great for the crappy weather. I seared the roast on all sides, added some broth, rough cut carrots and onions, as well as some black beans. Half way through I added some chili adobo for some spiciness and then cooked for a couple more hours. I then served with some rice to which I had added a pepperjack cheese sause to.
Right now I am really diggin Mumford and son, so musically tonight it's: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KkUeRPjc-Y&feature=fvwrel
Well anyway after a couple hours, curiosity got the better of me and I headed down to the school. It was interesting to see mini me take those tentative steps into adolescence. No I didn't interfere, as I have said before, it is his life not mine, so I just observed from afar.
Mini me was dancing in the center of the floor, as only Jr. High Schoolers can. Think more like a pack mentality rather than individual couples. Yet you can start to see those first steps, cautious at first, but they were there as the boys and the girls danced around one another, yet never actually with one person.
Any how, as I was talking to a parent who was chaperoning, I notice that mini me kept having two females tying to dance strictly in front of him. I say in front because as noted earlier they aren't really dancing with one another. Now when one was in front of him, you could tell he was enjoying himself, smiling, laughing, yes even blushing. However when the other one took her place, you could tell he just wasn't as into it.
Now before you start assuming, some body type, hair, etc. So it wasn't a shallow thing. I have tried to instill into mini me that looks are nothing really important, it's the content of the character and personality which matters. Well given how he changed depending on who was in front of him, I made a mental note to poke around the edges to see what was going on.
Later in the evening after I "officially" arrived to pick him up, as we were driving home, I did the standard parent line of questioning: "Did you have fun?" "Meet any new people?" "Did you dance or play in the gym?" I like to think that I have fostered an open relationship with mini me. He can talk to me about any and every thing, and believe me he has!
Well he answered the questions which of course prompted new question, specifically the one I was waiting for, " Did you dance with any girls?" He told me a couple. I noted I saw him dancing with such and such as well as so and so. His comment took me back and made me think for several reasons. The remark was " Such and such just wants to have a boyfriend, and I want none of that."
Now my first reaction was wow! Smart kid but it got me thinking, what does it say of our society that a tweener is desperate to be in a relationship? Kids really are growing up fast these days. Mini me's answer shows how he is growing up and learning.
We talked more, about little things, important things and the ilk. As we talked I got more insight into how he thinks. I am starting to believe he is wise beyond his years. You see his reasoning can be boiled down to " any one who is desperate enough for a relationship, isn't comfortable with themselves."
I think what I am attempting to teach him is rubbing off: Be true to who and what you are. What I need to teach him though is not everyone is perfect. Not he, not I, not the one he was really enjoying dancing near. The secret, I think, is to learn to accept the imperfections, to realize that the imperfections make us who we are. To run away because of another's imperfections I tend to opine is because we cannot accept our own.
In a real sense, our imperfections are labeled as imperfections, when in fact they make us perfectly us. They are who we are.
Any how, supper was a slow cooked roast in the crock pot. Great for the crappy weather. I seared the roast on all sides, added some broth, rough cut carrots and onions, as well as some black beans. Half way through I added some chili adobo for some spiciness and then cooked for a couple more hours. I then served with some rice to which I had added a pepperjack cheese sause to.
Right now I am really diggin Mumford and son, so musically tonight it's: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KkUeRPjc-Y&feature=fvwrel
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Hands On
So it has been an interesting day to say the least. Nasty, dreary weather makes my old bones ache. Actually not old, just a disabled vet, but no biggie. It was just interesting at work for various unsaid reasons, mainly to protect those who provide me comedic relief.
No it was an interesting day as mini me noticed as we were driving that a mother walking on the sidewalk was carrying her child who appeared to be about 4-5, while no more than 50 yards ahead another mother was walking hand in hand with her child who appeared to be about the same age.
I tend to think this is an apt metaphor for parenting and for life. There are those who carry their children through life, while others walk beside them hand in hand. I myself do neither. I prefer to walk behind him and let him learn his life's lessons, always there for support but it's his life to lead, not mine.
Don't get me wrong, there are times when we need to hold the hand, or carry our child. In my case it has been recently the metaphorical hand holding has taken place, for reasons expressed in other blog entries. But that is not how I work. I don't think mini me would learn anything about life if I carried him through it. Nor do I think it is my place to walk with him through it side by side. As I said, his life, not mine.
It should make for an interesting weekend. The Baltimore Book festival is taking place and I loves me a good book. Also mini me has some extra curriculars taking place Namely a school dance. Books I can handle, they generally tend to be less of a disappointment to me than people. As for the school dance, all I can really say is UGH! I am not ready for this.
He already has girls texting him, calling him buff and noting how deep his voice is. How come I am getting the sad premonition that he may be giving me dating advice soon? FML is all I can say, FML.
Oh well, such is life. Tonight we made a a curry chicken. A local store has great curry seasons - side note: the spicier the better- and I just added some coconut milk, some onions, garlic, peppers and diced tomatoes. Served it all over some rice.
I am diggin this song something fierce: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pehz98Vygs
No it was an interesting day as mini me noticed as we were driving that a mother walking on the sidewalk was carrying her child who appeared to be about 4-5, while no more than 50 yards ahead another mother was walking hand in hand with her child who appeared to be about the same age.
I tend to think this is an apt metaphor for parenting and for life. There are those who carry their children through life, while others walk beside them hand in hand. I myself do neither. I prefer to walk behind him and let him learn his life's lessons, always there for support but it's his life to lead, not mine.
Don't get me wrong, there are times when we need to hold the hand, or carry our child. In my case it has been recently the metaphorical hand holding has taken place, for reasons expressed in other blog entries. But that is not how I work. I don't think mini me would learn anything about life if I carried him through it. Nor do I think it is my place to walk with him through it side by side. As I said, his life, not mine.
It should make for an interesting weekend. The Baltimore Book festival is taking place and I loves me a good book. Also mini me has some extra curriculars taking place Namely a school dance. Books I can handle, they generally tend to be less of a disappointment to me than people. As for the school dance, all I can really say is UGH! I am not ready for this.
He already has girls texting him, calling him buff and noting how deep his voice is. How come I am getting the sad premonition that he may be giving me dating advice soon? FML is all I can say, FML.
Oh well, such is life. Tonight we made a a curry chicken. A local store has great curry seasons - side note: the spicier the better- and I just added some coconut milk, some onions, garlic, peppers and diced tomatoes. Served it all over some rice.
I am diggin this song something fierce: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pehz98Vygs
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
White lies
So mini-me got busted telling a white lie. The only person it affected was him, and it was quickly rectified. However he did ask me if there really ever is a time when I lie is necessary. Which has me thinking.
Personally I find it to be one of the ultimate show of a lack of respect to lie to someone. I mean we're all grown adults, right? Why lack the integrity to just be honest? A little background information may be helpful.
Yesterday I posted something on another website, which was more attuned to my interpersonal communication skills and have they have changed over the years. Yes, it could be construed that I was referring to people, and in fact, I was, only three, and no names were mentioned. 2 because of things they inferred about mini-me, and 1 because of lies which were said to me. Now a few people blew up my cell phone with text messages asking if it was referring to them, including 2 of the 3.
Now I didn't specifically state it was about them when asked, nor did I specifically deny. Perhaps this is a lie of omission, but in one specific case, it heads off a conversation which would be long and painful, for both parties I would think. Perhaps that is my own attempts to justify my actions, who knows?
I guess I have hit a stage of ambivalence. Then again, I don't think that is the right word. Apathy may be more in line with where I am. Too much has happened over the last year or so for me to really give a damn.
Perhaps I am kicking myself for what seems to be a lie of omission to people I have no personal respect for, yet somehow I cannot get over the feeling of two wrongs do not make a right. Perhaps the real answer lies in the fact that my greatest disappointments always come from those I let close to me.
In either even I hope mini me learns from my mistakes and never makes them.
Dinner was a slow cooked marinara, linguini with oven roasted sausage, a ceasar salad and garlic bread .
Music for the evening is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXYiU_JCYtU&feature=relmfu
Personally I find it to be one of the ultimate show of a lack of respect to lie to someone. I mean we're all grown adults, right? Why lack the integrity to just be honest? A little background information may be helpful.
Yesterday I posted something on another website, which was more attuned to my interpersonal communication skills and have they have changed over the years. Yes, it could be construed that I was referring to people, and in fact, I was, only three, and no names were mentioned. 2 because of things they inferred about mini-me, and 1 because of lies which were said to me. Now a few people blew up my cell phone with text messages asking if it was referring to them, including 2 of the 3.
Now I didn't specifically state it was about them when asked, nor did I specifically deny. Perhaps this is a lie of omission, but in one specific case, it heads off a conversation which would be long and painful, for both parties I would think. Perhaps that is my own attempts to justify my actions, who knows?
I guess I have hit a stage of ambivalence. Then again, I don't think that is the right word. Apathy may be more in line with where I am. Too much has happened over the last year or so for me to really give a damn.
Perhaps I am kicking myself for what seems to be a lie of omission to people I have no personal respect for, yet somehow I cannot get over the feeling of two wrongs do not make a right. Perhaps the real answer lies in the fact that my greatest disappointments always come from those I let close to me.
In either even I hope mini me learns from my mistakes and never makes them.
Dinner was a slow cooked marinara, linguini with oven roasted sausage, a ceasar salad and garlic bread .
Music for the evening is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXYiU_JCYtU&feature=relmfu
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Weekend Walk
So it was a good weekend. Yesterday mini me and I continued the shopping binge for him. He is just growing way too fast for my liking. Oh well such is life,but the retail therapy did not help whatsoever.
Today however I gave him the choice of attending the Renaissance Festival or walking around Baltimore. He chose the latter, and I couldn't be happier. Don't get me wrong, I like the Renaissance Festival, I think it keeps alive a bygone era of chivalry. At the same time though, I tend to think that is paints a more picturesque view of life in those times. I mean seriously, they can have their apothecaries, or their choreographed duels, but when you think about it, the Renaissance was a time of hard work and despair. Order of Black Death anyone?
No it was a good day as mini-me just had the day to talk and walk. Some of the things were good to talk about, while others were quite thought provoking.
No parent ever wants to answer the question: "What happens to me if you die?" Call me crazy but I have always felt honesty was necessary given all that went on with his mother. So I told him, he would go live with a relative, and a trust fund would be established for him from my life insurance, but that the most important thing was to live the life he was given. His response: " Don't you think you should start dating so that won't happen?" Have to love the logic of a tweener, NOT!
However that led to the more interesting topic of dating and what I look for. I guess the best way to describe is is quality. Just like with friends, I value the quality of a person over the number. Add in mini-me and that quality takes on even more importance. He didn't understand until I asked how many friends he had on his social networking site. His answer was a couple hundred. I then asked how many he actually talked to and hung out with. The reply, maybe 10. At that point the light bulb went off.
Sad part is though, lately my ability to sit back and analyze has been lacking. You see I am a Taurus through and through. I will sit back and analyze, see how things proceed and then engage in the chase. It all really starts from a point of respect though. Much to my chagrin, I have been lacking. Perhaps the toils of single parenting have taken its toll? Perhaps it's too soon to start over, but then again, I have always been single, so is it really starting over?
I was talking to a niece and she pointed out that women have all the cards in a relationship so to speak. Men want one thing and women hold the key to it. Here's a wake up call though, I don't need that, nor would I say it is a want. It's an act between two people, nothing more. It only derives meaning when the two people derive the same meaning together.
One may want a booty call, or a friend with benefits, while the other wants something long term. Guess I am somewhat old fashioned in that I prefer the latter to the former. In either instance though, both parties should be open and honest with one another. Only thing I have found lately though are those who do logical gymnastics either because they are too afraid of who they are, or just too scared of what may be.
Mini me is right though, I do need to find my way back into the stream of life. To meet new people and see what happens. This time though, the progress will be glacially slow. I respect myself too much to deal with those who cannot even deal with themselves.
Just remember, Friends are God's way of apologizing for a family, so insure they are true to you as you are to them.
Today however I gave him the choice of attending the Renaissance Festival or walking around Baltimore. He chose the latter, and I couldn't be happier. Don't get me wrong, I like the Renaissance Festival, I think it keeps alive a bygone era of chivalry. At the same time though, I tend to think that is paints a more picturesque view of life in those times. I mean seriously, they can have their apothecaries, or their choreographed duels, but when you think about it, the Renaissance was a time of hard work and despair. Order of Black Death anyone?
No it was a good day as mini-me just had the day to talk and walk. Some of the things were good to talk about, while others were quite thought provoking.
No parent ever wants to answer the question: "What happens to me if you die?" Call me crazy but I have always felt honesty was necessary given all that went on with his mother. So I told him, he would go live with a relative, and a trust fund would be established for him from my life insurance, but that the most important thing was to live the life he was given. His response: " Don't you think you should start dating so that won't happen?" Have to love the logic of a tweener, NOT!
However that led to the more interesting topic of dating and what I look for. I guess the best way to describe is is quality. Just like with friends, I value the quality of a person over the number. Add in mini-me and that quality takes on even more importance. He didn't understand until I asked how many friends he had on his social networking site. His answer was a couple hundred. I then asked how many he actually talked to and hung out with. The reply, maybe 10. At that point the light bulb went off.
Sad part is though, lately my ability to sit back and analyze has been lacking. You see I am a Taurus through and through. I will sit back and analyze, see how things proceed and then engage in the chase. It all really starts from a point of respect though. Much to my chagrin, I have been lacking. Perhaps the toils of single parenting have taken its toll? Perhaps it's too soon to start over, but then again, I have always been single, so is it really starting over?
I was talking to a niece and she pointed out that women have all the cards in a relationship so to speak. Men want one thing and women hold the key to it. Here's a wake up call though, I don't need that, nor would I say it is a want. It's an act between two people, nothing more. It only derives meaning when the two people derive the same meaning together.
One may want a booty call, or a friend with benefits, while the other wants something long term. Guess I am somewhat old fashioned in that I prefer the latter to the former. In either instance though, both parties should be open and honest with one another. Only thing I have found lately though are those who do logical gymnastics either because they are too afraid of who they are, or just too scared of what may be.
Mini me is right though, I do need to find my way back into the stream of life. To meet new people and see what happens. This time though, the progress will be glacially slow. I respect myself too much to deal with those who cannot even deal with themselves.
Just remember, Friends are God's way of apologizing for a family, so insure they are true to you as you are to them.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Friday Freakout
Ok! I know. Yesterday was a rant, and nothing more. But it was a much needed rant, so get over it. Somethings are going on that are farcical to say the least. Actually, it is starting to remind me of theater of the absurd, something akin to "Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are Dead" or "Waiting for Godot". Let's say say people seeking attention, be it good, bad or indifferent is sad to watch. Body language says quite a bit...but enough of that.
Fridays are always fun for me. Mini me wakes up early and we normally head to a local establishment and sit down and have breakfast before he goes to school and I trudge off to the monotony of work. Sadly that is the highlight of my day. Well that is until I get home and get to see him again.
This evening when I got home, I decided I needed a break so we went out. Some of the things we did were rather mundane, grocery shopping and we grabbed some dinner. But first, clothes shopping for mini me. Now I jokingly tell people I am glad I am raising a son alone, for if he were a she, I would definitely see a convent in her future.
But I find as he gets older, he is just as finicky, just as picky as I imagine a daughter would be. Wait, strike that, I remember how picky the youngest of my sisters was, so perhaps not as finicky...but close. I am not going to sit here and say he has to have the latest fad, the most expensive name brand, or the stuff that will make him look cool. He just wants his clothes to fit him in a well manner.
Well any who, while shopping and talking it comes out a girl said he was "buff". And now he seems REALLY animated about attending a school dance next week. I think he needs to give me lessons as his social calendar far exceeds mine.
Did I mention I am not ready for puberty? Guess I need to start investing in a good hair dye.
all kidding aside, I am neither that superficial, nor that materialistic that I would seek to alter my looks, or change what I shop for in regards to myself or my son. I dress impeccably for work and then bum when not at work, and I let him pick his own fashion sense.
I think a lot of people I have come across lately could take some lessons from him
Fridays are always fun for me. Mini me wakes up early and we normally head to a local establishment and sit down and have breakfast before he goes to school and I trudge off to the monotony of work. Sadly that is the highlight of my day. Well that is until I get home and get to see him again.
This evening when I got home, I decided I needed a break so we went out. Some of the things we did were rather mundane, grocery shopping and we grabbed some dinner. But first, clothes shopping for mini me. Now I jokingly tell people I am glad I am raising a son alone, for if he were a she, I would definitely see a convent in her future.
But I find as he gets older, he is just as finicky, just as picky as I imagine a daughter would be. Wait, strike that, I remember how picky the youngest of my sisters was, so perhaps not as finicky...but close. I am not going to sit here and say he has to have the latest fad, the most expensive name brand, or the stuff that will make him look cool. He just wants his clothes to fit him in a well manner.
Well any who, while shopping and talking it comes out a girl said he was "buff". And now he seems REALLY animated about attending a school dance next week. I think he needs to give me lessons as his social calendar far exceeds mine.
Did I mention I am not ready for puberty? Guess I need to start investing in a good hair dye.
all kidding aside, I am neither that superficial, nor that materialistic that I would seek to alter my looks, or change what I shop for in regards to myself or my son. I dress impeccably for work and then bum when not at work, and I let him pick his own fashion sense.
I think a lot of people I have come across lately could take some lessons from him
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Not So ready for Prime Time but here we go
Well it's been a minute since I last posted. Mini me keeps me on my toes, what can I say.
It's been good though. Mini me is rocking in school and life is grand.
Well OK, not really grand. I swear I should hang a shingle outside my window saying "therapist for hire to listen to your drama" Just for the record, I should probably only do that for family members, but it seems the drama is always based on several problems.
1) Quit playing games: The drama one experiences is usually based on the Karma bus getting ready to run your ass over
2) Be honest, not just with people you interact, but most importantly with yourself. Self deception is the worst type of dishonesty. When you are caught in a lie, admit it. At least you won't perpetuate the notion you're an idiot.
3) No matter how one attempts to compartmentalize, life has a habit of shattering those walls. In other words, you may think you're safe, but reality tends to bite you in the ass when you least expect it.
I could really make some bank showing some how they have broken these simple rules. Problem is, most don't want to hear they are their own worst enemy.
In a nutshell, know who you are, what you are and what you want to be.
Sorry for the rant, just been a loooooong week.
It's been good though. Mini me is rocking in school and life is grand.
Well OK, not really grand. I swear I should hang a shingle outside my window saying "therapist for hire to listen to your drama" Just for the record, I should probably only do that for family members, but it seems the drama is always based on several problems.
1) Quit playing games: The drama one experiences is usually based on the Karma bus getting ready to run your ass over
2) Be honest, not just with people you interact, but most importantly with yourself. Self deception is the worst type of dishonesty. When you are caught in a lie, admit it. At least you won't perpetuate the notion you're an idiot.
3) No matter how one attempts to compartmentalize, life has a habit of shattering those walls. In other words, you may think you're safe, but reality tends to bite you in the ass when you least expect it.
I could really make some bank showing some how they have broken these simple rules. Problem is, most don't want to hear they are their own worst enemy.
In a nutshell, know who you are, what you are and what you want to be.
Sorry for the rant, just been a loooooong week.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Cleaning out and Starting Anew
Today was a long, hard day. Mini me and I spent a few hours going through things of his mother's from hospice. You know the little stuffed animals he got her, or the character themed teddy bears he got her for special occasions. All told it was a cathartic experience, but mini me handled it well.
There were somethings he wants to keep. To put in a memory box so that he can remember his mom. The other things we decided we will take to a homeless shelter for families. Perhaps the joy his mom obtained from receiving can be continued through other families less fortunate than my own.
It got me thinking though, we all go through cathartic events which require us to examine life, clean out the negative influences and start anew. It's never an easy thing though, the letting go of the past. Partly because the past defines who we are. More importantly though, it's because there is so much tied into it: our hopes, dreams, aspirations, fears, regrets and the ilk.
Perhaps the hardest part is is looking back and seeing those we thought close to us, were in fact little more than a negative influence. To be sure there are good memories which come to mind when we think of them, but on the whole, the influence was negative. By negative I take it to mean, they did not help us to become a better person. Aren't our true friends the ones who make us better? Who understand us and the why's and how's of our though processes?
Sorting through these myriad issues can be difficult in the best of times. Add in mini me and it's a variable which must be considered. I can honestly state though, he teaches me more than I teach him. His resilience is something of which I am envious.
Most importantly though, today taught me that the past is the past. We need to let it go in order to move forward. Life does not have a reverse gear in it.
Friday, September 9, 2011
To thine own self....
So it's been a rough week for mini-me. The second week of middle school, and given the biblical type weather of eathquakes, hurricanes and flooding, school is finally back into full swing.
It is interesting to watch and help him learn. I know he knows what he is doing. He just questions himself. Now a little dose of self skepticism is a good thing. At times though, it is extremely frustrating as his father to watch him question everything. It's at that point, I need for him to step back.
To be honest, I really do not like to see anyone doubt themselves. This feeling is compounded exponentially when it comes to mini-me. I don't like to see them doubt themselves for a selfish reason, it tends to cause me to doubt myself, and let's face it: the last thing a single parent needs is more self doubt.
No I don't need those self doubters. The ones who question their abilities, or worse yet, themselves and what they want or what they need. Experience has shown me that these tend to be the worst offenders. They want you to be their therapist, to hear their sad stories, or to give them the kick in the ass they are too afraid to give themselves. In the end though, their self doubt tends to be contagious.
Luckily, mini-me doesn't question his wants or needs. He just needs to learn to trust his abilities.
It is interesting to watch and help him learn. I know he knows what he is doing. He just questions himself. Now a little dose of self skepticism is a good thing. At times though, it is extremely frustrating as his father to watch him question everything. It's at that point, I need for him to step back.
To be honest, I really do not like to see anyone doubt themselves. This feeling is compounded exponentially when it comes to mini-me. I don't like to see them doubt themselves for a selfish reason, it tends to cause me to doubt myself, and let's face it: the last thing a single parent needs is more self doubt.
No I don't need those self doubters. The ones who question their abilities, or worse yet, themselves and what they want or what they need. Experience has shown me that these tend to be the worst offenders. They want you to be their therapist, to hear their sad stories, or to give them the kick in the ass they are too afraid to give themselves. In the end though, their self doubt tends to be contagious.
Luckily, mini-me doesn't question his wants or needs. He just needs to learn to trust his abilities.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Love Bytes
So I was listening to the internet radio stations on my smart phone today, and an interesting stat was thrown out: 25% of all relationships start on the internet. I found this quite interesting as I have had success via internet dating, have also had an unmitigated disaster or two. No I don't use websites like eharmony or the ilk.Rather it is just pure randomness of meeting people.
What I got to thinking about though, wasn't so much the how's, why's, or who's of internet dating, but rather the differences and why they are.
Let's face reality, when you are staring at a monitor talking to someone you really have no way of knowing if they are who they say they are. We've all seen the caricatures the fat guy posing as the super hot model. But doesn't the same kind of duplicity take place in face to face gatherings. Look at the many places we hang out to try and find Mr. or Mrs.Right.
Women will spend hours ad nauseum getting their war paint, yes I mean make up, so they look just right. To strategically accentuate their best parts, while de-emphasizing their perceived worst. Men are no different though. They'll spend time to make sure they look good as well. Yes, guys preen, if they tell you they don't, they're lying.
Perhaps the internet dating is a reaction to the image oriented society we live. Everyone wants that perfect guy or gal to have on their arm; to make all their friends, and especially their ex's say 'Damnnnnnnnnnnn!" The only thing internet dating cannot due is let you see those tics. You know, those tell tale signs of interest in you. Then again, those can be duplicitous as well. They gal could just be looking for a drink since she is low on funds, or the guy just seeking to fulfill a desire.
Well here is a little secret, no body is perfect. Not you, not I, not the neighbors. So next time you are staring across a dance floor, or a bar at that smoking hot gal/guy, your better bet is to look at the guy/gal who could care less. Chances are they will probably be more honest with you than Steve the pseudo-Stud Muffin, or Nancy the No-So Nearly Nymphomaniac.
Why you may ask, because they are at least being honest with themselves, can you say the same?
What I got to thinking about though, wasn't so much the how's, why's, or who's of internet dating, but rather the differences and why they are.
Let's face reality, when you are staring at a monitor talking to someone you really have no way of knowing if they are who they say they are. We've all seen the caricatures the fat guy posing as the super hot model. But doesn't the same kind of duplicity take place in face to face gatherings. Look at the many places we hang out to try and find Mr. or Mrs.Right.
Women will spend hours ad nauseum getting their war paint, yes I mean make up, so they look just right. To strategically accentuate their best parts, while de-emphasizing their perceived worst. Men are no different though. They'll spend time to make sure they look good as well. Yes, guys preen, if they tell you they don't, they're lying.
Perhaps the internet dating is a reaction to the image oriented society we live. Everyone wants that perfect guy or gal to have on their arm; to make all their friends, and especially their ex's say 'Damnnnnnnnnnnn!" The only thing internet dating cannot due is let you see those tics. You know, those tell tale signs of interest in you. Then again, those can be duplicitous as well. They gal could just be looking for a drink since she is low on funds, or the guy just seeking to fulfill a desire.
Well here is a little secret, no body is perfect. Not you, not I, not the neighbors. So next time you are staring across a dance floor, or a bar at that smoking hot gal/guy, your better bet is to look at the guy/gal who could care less. Chances are they will probably be more honest with you than Steve the pseudo-Stud Muffin, or Nancy the No-So Nearly Nymphomaniac.
Why you may ask, because they are at least being honest with themselves, can you say the same?
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Meet the Foackers!
well ok, we all get the allusion to the movie, so let us just dispense with that. It's "Back to School Night" for mini me, and this is always a tough exercise.This is the first year where I don't have to explain his mother is in hospice, so not quite sure how this will go over.
Let me get one this straight, but Foackers, I am not referring to the teachers. I actually feel for them. They have to teach under withering constraints, trying to get the children to regurgitate information based on an unfunded mandate, No Child Left Behind. Then again, let's face reality, a teacher has to put on the airs and say "Yes your child is delight, and I look forward to working with him/her" No parent is going to react in a positive fashion to being told their kid is special. Any who says to the contrary is trying to sell you something. I readily admit, the foibles mini me has, he has learned from me. I am just attempting to make sure he does not make the mistakes I made.
No by Foackers, I am referring to the dearth of fathers at these events. I know my situation is outside the norm,but come'on Dads, testicle up and take a more active part in your child's life than a simple game of catch! There are times when I swear it feels I am at a Regional Convention of Stay at Home Moms & Soccer Moms Convention.
It seems the only time I see fathers at these events are when it is "Career Day" or a school dance and Daddy's little Princess needs to be chaperoned from afar. What does it teach our kids that we cannot spend the time to meet their teachers? To sit and help with homework? Forget "Take Your Kids to Work Day" let us have a "Take Your Parents to Field Day" at school.
To be sure, we live in a rapidly changing time, and change is the most resisted concept we come across. We all like our ruts, no matter how much we may complain. It's a comfortable blanket we wear around us because we don't want to face newness. We worry if our kids are being raised to avoid stereotypes. Hell I know parents who's children are in elementary school and they are already worried about "collegiate resumes". WTH! You're child is 9, let the child be a child!
No the worst part of Meet the Foackers, is the condescending look of pity I get from the mothers. I hate it. It's a look which says " Oh poor him" In reality, the nonverbalized sentiment is " Thank God I don't have his life." Truth be told, I love my life. I've met some great people whom I call friends, who are as dear to me, if not more so than some of my family. I won't say there are some who haven't been a negative influence because at the very least, I learned from them.
No Meet the Foackers is not an enjoyable experience, not because of the teachers, but because things could be so much better. Take time and enjoy your child, in no time at all, they will be gone and you'll be left. There is a word, vivify, it means to enliven, brighten or sharpen. Mini-me truly vivifies me for without him, life would be nothing more than periods of time between sleep.
Let me get one this straight, but Foackers, I am not referring to the teachers. I actually feel for them. They have to teach under withering constraints, trying to get the children to regurgitate information based on an unfunded mandate, No Child Left Behind. Then again, let's face reality, a teacher has to put on the airs and say "Yes your child is delight, and I look forward to working with him/her" No parent is going to react in a positive fashion to being told their kid is special. Any who says to the contrary is trying to sell you something. I readily admit, the foibles mini me has, he has learned from me. I am just attempting to make sure he does not make the mistakes I made.
No by Foackers, I am referring to the dearth of fathers at these events. I know my situation is outside the norm,but come'on Dads, testicle up and take a more active part in your child's life than a simple game of catch! There are times when I swear it feels I am at a Regional Convention of Stay at Home Moms & Soccer Moms Convention.
It seems the only time I see fathers at these events are when it is "Career Day" or a school dance and Daddy's little Princess needs to be chaperoned from afar. What does it teach our kids that we cannot spend the time to meet their teachers? To sit and help with homework? Forget "Take Your Kids to Work Day" let us have a "Take Your Parents to Field Day" at school.
To be sure, we live in a rapidly changing time, and change is the most resisted concept we come across. We all like our ruts, no matter how much we may complain. It's a comfortable blanket we wear around us because we don't want to face newness. We worry if our kids are being raised to avoid stereotypes. Hell I know parents who's children are in elementary school and they are already worried about "collegiate resumes". WTH! You're child is 9, let the child be a child!
No the worst part of Meet the Foackers, is the condescending look of pity I get from the mothers. I hate it. It's a look which says " Oh poor him" In reality, the nonverbalized sentiment is " Thank God I don't have his life." Truth be told, I love my life. I've met some great people whom I call friends, who are as dear to me, if not more so than some of my family. I won't say there are some who haven't been a negative influence because at the very least, I learned from them.
No Meet the Foackers is not an enjoyable experience, not because of the teachers, but because things could be so much better. Take time and enjoy your child, in no time at all, they will be gone and you'll be left. There is a word, vivify, it means to enliven, brighten or sharpen. Mini-me truly vivifies me for without him, life would be nothing more than periods of time between sleep.
Monday, September 5, 2011
A Question on Manhood
Today was an interesting day with mini me as he wanted me to do something for him, so we made a deal. Now I will admit, the deal required me to do something for him prior to his completing the deal. Now I will know there are some who think: " You cannot ask a tweener to do such things." I like to think I am raising him differently, and events bear fruit that he is becoming a man.
But first, I should provide some background on what I consider manhood to entail.
1) Integrity: this lets people know that your word is your bond. If you say something, make a promise to do something or be somewhere, keep it. In other words, always let people know your intentions.
2) Honesty: this is a multifaceted term. Not only do I mean speaking the truth, but also honesty of the person. Be who you are.
3) Responsibility: This one is self explanatory.
In the end, if you are honest with who and what you are, responsible for your actions, and practice personal and interpersonal integrity, then that, to me, constitutes manhood.
Oh to be sure, you will come across those who have no concept of who they are, or why they do the things they do. Are they practicing an egocentric personality, to be sure. In the end though, it tends to bite them in the ass. Just my opinion.
A real man though, would not laugh at the karmic bite in the ass, not revel in their pain or disappointment. He would just let them be, and hope a lesson was learned.
Which gets me back to the deal with mini me. he did not fulfill his end of the arrangement though I did with mine. The net result is now he does not have his video game console for a week. Did he whine, complain, make excuses? Quite the contrary, he owned up, accepted responsibility and his punishment.
All in all, a good day.
Dinner was braised chicken in a tomatillo-serrano chili sauce served over some cheesy rice ( I used shredded pepperjack).Had some kick to it but was quite tasty.
Music for the evening is Bob Dylan as I am in a mellow mood. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0E9k70Tpz8
But first, I should provide some background on what I consider manhood to entail.
1) Integrity: this lets people know that your word is your bond. If you say something, make a promise to do something or be somewhere, keep it. In other words, always let people know your intentions.
2) Honesty: this is a multifaceted term. Not only do I mean speaking the truth, but also honesty of the person. Be who you are.
3) Responsibility: This one is self explanatory.
In the end, if you are honest with who and what you are, responsible for your actions, and practice personal and interpersonal integrity, then that, to me, constitutes manhood.
Oh to be sure, you will come across those who have no concept of who they are, or why they do the things they do. Are they practicing an egocentric personality, to be sure. In the end though, it tends to bite them in the ass. Just my opinion.
A real man though, would not laugh at the karmic bite in the ass, not revel in their pain or disappointment. He would just let them be, and hope a lesson was learned.
Which gets me back to the deal with mini me. he did not fulfill his end of the arrangement though I did with mine. The net result is now he does not have his video game console for a week. Did he whine, complain, make excuses? Quite the contrary, he owned up, accepted responsibility and his punishment.
All in all, a good day.
Dinner was braised chicken in a tomatillo-serrano chili sauce served over some cheesy rice ( I used shredded pepperjack).Had some kick to it but was quite tasty.
Music for the evening is Bob Dylan as I am in a mellow mood. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0E9k70Tpz8
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Memories' Battles
First off, you'll start to notice that my blogs take place either early in the morning, or late in the evening. I find I think more lucidly at these times. The former allows me to reflect on the hopes and aspirations, while the latter allows for reflection on the day's events. But enough of that.
Today was an interesting day. Domestic Duty Day, D3 if you will, always allow for time to just talk with mini me about what's going on. Let me tell you, talking with a Tweener is an interesting exercise. On one hand it is interesting to watch as he develops into the man you hope he will become, on the other, it is like doing gymnastics on a waterbed. One minute he is asking about current events, the next minute he is asking about my past.
Allow me to provide a caveat. I have several degrees, in political science and history. Also in another life time, I studied engineering. I like to think I have a good memory, but when mini me asks about my past, I really, and I mean REALLY wish I had kept a journal. I mean seriously, had I know he would ask what I was doing at his exact age, I really would have kept a journal. I mean he sincerely asked what it was like to walk to school in the rain, the path I took, what it was like to wake up at 6AM for school, or who I had a crush on. Scary part is, he grabs my yearbooks from High School and starts asking. Side bar: seriously, did I look that goofy?
It is interesting as he asks these questions as it takes me back to the day. I remember each of them. Some rather vividly, some in passing. I guess it shows man's duality as the ones I remember the most are the ones I had either the most animosity towards, or the greatest affection. The former still make me cringe while the latter still makes me smile.
On that note, I am so not ready for puberty! I hated it when I went through it, I don't want to imagine it with mini me going through it. It's a rough time as we learn who we are as a person, what we want out of life, and what we need to achieve that. It is my hope that mini me learns those lessons while also learning about concepts of honor, integrity and morality.
Which gets me back to memories' battles. First, I think as parents we attempt to shield our children from our own reality as much as possible: to not know the pains we went through, or go continue to experience. I love mini me like no other person, but I really do not want him to know everything I have been through. Is this wrong? Perhaps. Selfish, most definitely. But he needs to be his own person.
On a happy note, the domestic god in me came out. My kitchen is so clean, it actually may cause blindness and three loads of laundry are done! *happy dances* Oh wait, that means I have to iron all those shirts and pants for work. UGH! Oh well, such is the price of working for "Da Man!"
We ended up not making the Naan bread pizzas, we'll do that tomorrow. We just did some sandwiches for lunch and then had some pasta with a vegetable marinara and salad for dinner. We'll do the Naan bread pizza tomorrow with perhaps a quiche for breakfast. It's always fun to be in the kitchen with mini me. He gets so into the cooking, not so much the cleaning as he goes, but hey, baby steps, ya know?
Here's hoping your tomorrow brings you lots of laughs and smiles from those closest to you.
Today was an interesting day. Domestic Duty Day, D3 if you will, always allow for time to just talk with mini me about what's going on. Let me tell you, talking with a Tweener is an interesting exercise. On one hand it is interesting to watch as he develops into the man you hope he will become, on the other, it is like doing gymnastics on a waterbed. One minute he is asking about current events, the next minute he is asking about my past.
Allow me to provide a caveat. I have several degrees, in political science and history. Also in another life time, I studied engineering. I like to think I have a good memory, but when mini me asks about my past, I really, and I mean REALLY wish I had kept a journal. I mean seriously, had I know he would ask what I was doing at his exact age, I really would have kept a journal. I mean he sincerely asked what it was like to walk to school in the rain, the path I took, what it was like to wake up at 6AM for school, or who I had a crush on. Scary part is, he grabs my yearbooks from High School and starts asking. Side bar: seriously, did I look that goofy?
It is interesting as he asks these questions as it takes me back to the day. I remember each of them. Some rather vividly, some in passing. I guess it shows man's duality as the ones I remember the most are the ones I had either the most animosity towards, or the greatest affection. The former still make me cringe while the latter still makes me smile.
On that note, I am so not ready for puberty! I hated it when I went through it, I don't want to imagine it with mini me going through it. It's a rough time as we learn who we are as a person, what we want out of life, and what we need to achieve that. It is my hope that mini me learns those lessons while also learning about concepts of honor, integrity and morality.
Which gets me back to memories' battles. First, I think as parents we attempt to shield our children from our own reality as much as possible: to not know the pains we went through, or go continue to experience. I love mini me like no other person, but I really do not want him to know everything I have been through. Is this wrong? Perhaps. Selfish, most definitely. But he needs to be his own person.
On a happy note, the domestic god in me came out. My kitchen is so clean, it actually may cause blindness and three loads of laundry are done! *happy dances* Oh wait, that means I have to iron all those shirts and pants for work. UGH! Oh well, such is the price of working for "Da Man!"
We ended up not making the Naan bread pizzas, we'll do that tomorrow. We just did some sandwiches for lunch and then had some pasta with a vegetable marinara and salad for dinner. We'll do the Naan bread pizza tomorrow with perhaps a quiche for breakfast. It's always fun to be in the kitchen with mini me. He gets so into the cooking, not so much the cleaning as he goes, but hey, baby steps, ya know?
Here's hoping your tomorrow brings you lots of laughs and smiles from those closest to you.
Slowdown Sundays
Sundays are so hard!
They were THE DAY. The day when, for the past 7 years, I took mini-me to visit his mom and the long-term care/hospice facility she was in. They would talk, eat together. He would read to her. It was truly a delight to be a part of, to watch a son and mother connect. Now, 4 months later, I am still lost at what to do.
Perhaps we might do some hiking. Or hit a farmers' market. I need to get some 'maters, want to make some grilled Naan bread pizza. Mini-me loves it! Also it is a good way introduce him to new forms of cooking. I find it's my obligation to raise him to be independent, honest and to act with integrity. To make sure he treats others as he would want to be treated. That if others treat him detrimentally, that doesn't mean he should reciprocate, but to just not bother with them. Small people treat people horrifically, if for no other reason, than they wish for others to feel as they do.
Or I could become a domestic god, but who am I kidding. I have too much testosterone in me. LOL. Actually all things considered, I am not doing too bad. Just have laundry and some secondary cleaning to do. Ok, ok, in all honesty, I have lots of primary cleaning to do as well but nothing I cannot handle. Hard part comes in a week or two when I need to steam the carpets.
As it is Sunday, it generally tends to be an acoustic type music day. Music is melodic poetry set to sound. It is, to me, the spontaneous outpouring of emotions into written form. The songs that stick with me most are the ones were the lyrics hit a chord, no pun intended, and the vocal abilities are amazing. Along that line, today's song is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgFQ6WmxdMs Shinedown's cover of Lyrnrd Skynrd's "Simple Man"
They were THE DAY. The day when, for the past 7 years, I took mini-me to visit his mom and the long-term care/hospice facility she was in. They would talk, eat together. He would read to her. It was truly a delight to be a part of, to watch a son and mother connect. Now, 4 months later, I am still lost at what to do.
Perhaps we might do some hiking. Or hit a farmers' market. I need to get some 'maters, want to make some grilled Naan bread pizza. Mini-me loves it! Also it is a good way introduce him to new forms of cooking. I find it's my obligation to raise him to be independent, honest and to act with integrity. To make sure he treats others as he would want to be treated. That if others treat him detrimentally, that doesn't mean he should reciprocate, but to just not bother with them. Small people treat people horrifically, if for no other reason, than they wish for others to feel as they do.
Or I could become a domestic god, but who am I kidding. I have too much testosterone in me. LOL. Actually all things considered, I am not doing too bad. Just have laundry and some secondary cleaning to do. Ok, ok, in all honesty, I have lots of primary cleaning to do as well but nothing I cannot handle. Hard part comes in a week or two when I need to steam the carpets.
As it is Sunday, it generally tends to be an acoustic type music day. Music is melodic poetry set to sound. It is, to me, the spontaneous outpouring of emotions into written form. The songs that stick with me most are the ones were the lyrics hit a chord, no pun intended, and the vocal abilities are amazing. Along that line, today's song is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgFQ6WmxdMs Shinedown's cover of Lyrnrd Skynrd's "Simple Man"
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Where to start
Where to start?
I am one of those guys who is as comfortable sitting at home with his son as he is out in the middle of nowhere with this son. Actually I prefer both places. Not into the bar scene per se, though I do love a good beer. Right now it's a PranQster by the North Coast Brewing Company.
For the past twelve years I acted as both mother and father to a son who is now a tweener. Side note: When did he get so big?! As his mother battled multiple sclerosis. I placed the formation of, and fostering of the relationship they had at the forefront of everything.
I am attempting to get back into the social scene. First foray was a miserable failure for reasons which still make no sense whatsoever, but such is life. her loss, not mine. Though I think in the end I may lose a friend out of it. We'll see.
Right now I am in a blues/rock type of mood when it comes to music. Right now it is : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOkWCJilkwo
It is a great time of year as the start of college football signals the arrival of Fall, by far my favorite season. I love the foliage and the crispness of the morning air. It also gets us closer to the holidays which is a great time to be a parent.
I will try to do this weekly but no promises. Leave a comment or what not.
I am one of those guys who is as comfortable sitting at home with his son as he is out in the middle of nowhere with this son. Actually I prefer both places. Not into the bar scene per se, though I do love a good beer. Right now it's a PranQster by the North Coast Brewing Company.
For the past twelve years I acted as both mother and father to a son who is now a tweener. Side note: When did he get so big?! As his mother battled multiple sclerosis. I placed the formation of, and fostering of the relationship they had at the forefront of everything.
I am attempting to get back into the social scene. First foray was a miserable failure for reasons which still make no sense whatsoever, but such is life. her loss, not mine. Though I think in the end I may lose a friend out of it. We'll see.
Right now I am in a blues/rock type of mood when it comes to music. Right now it is : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOkWCJilkwo
It is a great time of year as the start of college football signals the arrival of Fall, by far my favorite season. I love the foliage and the crispness of the morning air. It also gets us closer to the holidays which is a great time to be a parent.
I will try to do this weekly but no promises. Leave a comment or what not.
Introduction
Guess as this is the first post, I should probably be considerate and explain who I am. No I am not a doctor. Just some random single father residing in Maryland. Though never married, I made sure my child and the mother had a relationship, as she had a debilitating medical that she recently succumbed to: no I don't want pity!
The purpose of this blog is many fold. I'll talk about the ins and outs of parenting, of starting the social aspects anew. Other topics will be related to current events, history, politics, music, books, etc
A caveat: the views expressed here are solely mine, so don't hate!
The purpose of this blog is many fold. I'll talk about the ins and outs of parenting, of starting the social aspects anew. Other topics will be related to current events, history, politics, music, books, etc
A caveat: the views expressed here are solely mine, so don't hate!
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