Weekend Walk

So it was a good weekend. Yesterday mini me and I continued the shopping binge for him. He is just growing way too fast for my liking. Oh well such is life,but the retail therapy did not help whatsoever.

Today however I gave him the choice of attending the Renaissance Festival or walking around Baltimore.  He chose the latter, and I couldn't be happier. Don't get me wrong, I like the Renaissance Festival, I think it keeps alive a bygone era of chivalry. At the same time though, I tend to think that is paints a more picturesque view of life in those times. I mean seriously, they can have their apothecaries, or their choreographed duels, but when you think about it, the Renaissance was a time of hard work and despair. Order of Black Death anyone?

No it was a good day as mini-me just had the day to talk and walk. Some of the things were good to talk about, while others were quite thought provoking.

No parent ever wants to answer the question: "What happens to me if you die?" Call me crazy but I have always felt honesty was necessary given all that went on with his mother.  So I told him, he would go live with a relative, and a trust fund would be established for him from my life insurance, but that the most important thing was to live the life he was given. His response: " Don't you think you should start dating so that won't happen?" Have to love the logic of a tweener, NOT!

However that led to the more interesting topic of dating and what I look for. I guess the best way to describe is is quality. Just like with friends, I value the quality of a person over the number. Add in mini-me and that quality takes on even more importance. He didn't understand until I asked how many friends he had on his social networking site. His answer was a couple hundred. I then asked how many he actually talked to and hung out with. The reply, maybe 10.  At that point the light bulb went off.

Sad part is though, lately my ability to sit back and analyze has been lacking. You see I am a Taurus through and through. I will sit back and analyze, see how things proceed and then engage in the chase. It all really starts from a point of respect though. Much to my chagrin, I have been lacking.  Perhaps the toils of single parenting have taken its toll? Perhaps it's too soon to start over, but then again, I have always been single, so is it really starting over?

I was talking to a niece and she pointed out that women have all the cards in a relationship so to speak. Men want one thing and women hold the key to it. Here's a wake up call though, I don't need that, nor would I say it is a want. It's an act between two people, nothing more. It only derives meaning when the two people derive the same meaning together.

One may want a booty call, or a friend with benefits, while the other wants something long term. Guess I am somewhat old fashioned in that I prefer the latter to the former.  In either instance though, both parties should be open and honest with one another.  Only thing I have found lately though are those who do logical gymnastics either because they are too afraid of who they are, or just too scared of what may be.

Mini me is right though, I do need to find my way back into the stream of life. To meet new people and see what happens. This time though, the progress will be glacially slow. I respect myself too much to deal with those who cannot even deal with themselves.

Just remember, Friends are God's way of apologizing for a family, so insure they are true to you as you are to them.

Love Bytes

So I was listening to the internet radio stations on my smart phone today, and an interesting stat was thrown out: 25% of all relationships start on the internet. I found this quite interesting as I have had success via internet dating, have also had an unmitigated disaster or two. No I don't use websites like eharmony or the ilk.Rather it is just pure randomness of meeting people.

What I got to thinking about though, wasn't so much the how's, why's, or who's of internet dating, but rather the differences and why they are.

Let's face reality, when you are staring at a monitor talking to someone you really have no way of knowing if they are who they say they are. We've all seen the caricatures the fat guy posing as the super hot model. But doesn't the same kind of duplicity take place in face to face gatherings. Look at the many places we hang out to try and find Mr. or Mrs.Right.

Women will spend hours ad nauseum getting their war paint, yes I mean make up, so they look just right. To strategically accentuate their best parts, while de-emphasizing their perceived worst. Men are no different though. They'll spend time to make sure they look good as well. Yes, guys preen, if they tell you they don't, they're lying.

Perhaps the internet dating is a reaction to the image oriented society we live. Everyone wants that perfect guy or gal to have on their arm; to make all their friends, and especially their ex's say 'Damnnnnnnnnnnn!" The only thing internet dating cannot due is let you see those tics. You know, those tell tale signs of interest in you. Then  again, those can be duplicitous as well. They gal could just be looking for a drink since she is low on funds, or the guy just seeking to fulfill a desire.

Well here is a little secret, no body is perfect. Not you, not I, not the neighbors.  So next time you are staring across a dance floor, or a bar at that smoking hot gal/guy, your better bet is to look at the guy/gal who could care less. Chances are they will probably be more honest with you than Steve the pseudo-Stud Muffin, or Nancy the No-So Nearly Nymphomaniac.

Why you may ask, because they are at least being honest with themselves, can you say the same?