So it's been a while. Looking at what I have posted, about 2 weeks. Forgive my lapses. It has been interesting to say the least. Being sick recently really upsets the routines I have set up. Or rather the routines foisted upon me: sleep, work, dad obligations: repeat daily.
Actually the routines aren't that bad. Given the last decade or so, I had become comfortable in that rut. But it's that time of year when I was able to step out of that rut and created surprises around the holidays. I like to think I knew what the holidays were about: family, fun, laughter, that crazy drunk uncle, etc, but ever since mini me came along, it has changed. It's become about getting him that gift that screams "this is perfect." Therein lies the surprises I so loved.
Now the surprises I am talking about were all geared towards making sure mini me and his mom had the best of relationships given her condition. Actually used a line to describe these surprises: "His mom got him the cool stuff, I got him socks and underwear." It was really cool to see both their eyes light up Christmas morning. I had it arranged with the place she was at that the gifts would be there Christmas morning, so that I was absolved of any involvement in his eyes. To mini-me, his mom possessed some magical quality that she just knew what he wanted.
I don't have that anymore and to be frank, I don't know what to do. It was suggested that I have a package delivered from his mom, or talk to the hospice she was at and have one there and they would call him. But I don't know about that. The last decade has been rough, and as much as I want him to remember his mom, I think he needs closure. So I really don't know how to go about doing Christmas this year. Oh I am sure he'll get something cool. Probably a TV for his room so I can liberate my living room from the game consoles.
It just seems different though. I guess you can say empty. Should I chalk this up to "the firsts," but it is more than that. More like, I cannot get into the spirit so to speak. Normally this time of year I have already shopped for those surprises, or in one instance, I was able to arrange it to get her out of her hospice and see one of his school's holiday concerts - that was still the best gift of all. All he used to say when asked was "my mom is sick." That night though, my efforts paid off. Mini me took his mom around, with his school principal and gave her a grand tour of his school, showing her every classroom he had ever been in, introducing her to every teacher he had ever had. As high as that night was emotionally, this year is just flat lining.
I don't know though. Perhaps the holiday surprise will be a trip to some ski slopes. I think a change of scenery for this first holiday may be best. We'll see where the next month takes me.
On a side note, I was able to get out into the social scene. Don't know what to make of it yet. But had a great time hiking through the nation's capital. It was interesting to show some sights, a couple museums which are part of the Smithsonian complex, the Washington Monument, Arlington National Cemetery and the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers. Wish I could have shown more, but there is never enough time in the weekend to see all that DC has to offer.
Recipe of this post: I took a beef roast and pan seared it to just brown on all sides. Threw it in the crock pot with onions, black beans and some chili adobo for about 6 hrs. Then I pulled the roast apart and we had burritos with home made salsa and rice. A really good meal. I'll need to remember that next time I do the roast. Perhaps that would be good for leftovers. Then again with mini me going through growth spurts nonstop, what are leftovers.
Until next time, keep safe and keep smiling
