Q & A with Mini Me

So it has been an interesting last few days. Evidently mini me has a crush and has been asking how to get someone to like him. My response was a question: "Do you like yourself?" Now by this I mean are you comfortable with yourself.  This of course lead to more questions and a longer conversation.

The gist of the conversation was he needs to be true to himself. We all know that it does no good to anyone to be false in how they present themselves. So that part is a given. What I told him, and I know we will have more discussions on this, is to always act with personal honor and integrity. Not only towards the one he is chasing, but towards himself.

That gets me back to my question I posed to him. You see I also warned him, those who have a need to be liked, be it to be popular, or to just to be in a relationship are not the kind he needs to chase after. For that matter, it's not the kind any of us need to chase after. It's my opinion that people who are like that are only seeking validation because they are too afraid of themselves. In the end, the only result they get is to make others as miserable in life as they themselves are with themselves. So when I asked mini me if he was comfortable with himself, the gist of the question was this: can he handle being alone?

There is nothing wrong with being able to be alone with yourself. I tend to agree with the quote from Aristotle, " Knowing one's self is the first step towards achieving wisdom." Yes I paraphrased, but the gist is still the same. I would hope he never says he needs a relationship, or that he doesn't handle being alone well. Phrases such as those are sure signs, at least in my eyes, that something is amiss.

They are phrases I have never said, for I like to think I know who and what I am. An example: when mini me goes away for his functions, coworkers tend to push me to go out and party. Well the partying stage for me is long gone. Don't get me wrong, I can go out and have fun. I just don't need to. It's not like going out will fundamentally alter who I am. It could fundamentally alter my situation, true. But to change who I am as a person, or to alter the definition of what my personhood means? I think not.

Having said all that, and knowing I am not ready for this, I have resigned myself to the fact that the next few years mini me and I will be revisiting these conversations probably often. Some may read this and think I am afraid that he is growing up and would be leaving. Part of me would like for him to stay a certain age. But at the same time, I know it's important that he has the tools necessary to go through life.